


Istus must be laughing.

by writersstareoutwindows



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, Soulmates AU, kravitz is a student on legato au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 18:09:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13129131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writersstareoutwindows/pseuds/writersstareoutwindows
Summary: "Whenever people talk about tattoos, Taako rolls down his sleeve. They’re sitting in a circle, usually drinking, laughing and elbowing and sometimes kissing. Whenever they realize Taako hasn’t said anything, he sips his drink, arranges his hair artfully over his shoulder, and says, 'Nah, nah, nah, my dudes, I don’t hold to that,' wiggling his fingers, 'mumbo jumbo tattoo fate-or-whatever bullshit. Chaboi Taako’s a free agent.'"The present going forward. Memories in a jumble. Not a very neat story, but it's theirs.A soulmates au for @thoughtfulglittersublime on tumblr. Happy Candlenights!!





	Istus must be laughing.

Magnus only talks about the tattoo on his wrist when he’s drunk. _That’s a good way to lose a hand._ The story has an unfortunate lack of lost limbs, but as soon as Magnus has a few drinks in him he loves to describe his future wife showing him the proper way to chop lumber.

If you can get a few more drinks in him, he’ll describe her taking the same axe to soldiers’ necks.

Once Carey and Killian start dating, they love to put their wrists side-by-side and tease each other for taking so long to admit that they matched. _Hot damn, please tell me you’re the new Regulator_ on Carey’s arm; _Hell fucking yeah I am_ on Killian’s.

Merle doesn’t talk about his tattoo, but he doesn’t hide it, either. He’s too fond of beach shirts, and too old to care if people ask. He can’t explain any better than those who do why his wrist just says _Davenport._ But sometimes Taako notices him in the quad trying to teach Davenport how to play Euchre.

Whenever people talk about tattoos, Taako rolls down his sleeve. They’re sitting in a circle, usually drinking, laughing and elbowing and sometimes kissing. Whenever they realize Taako hasn’t said anything, he sips his drink, arranges his hair artfully over his shoulder, and says, “Nah, nah, nah, my dudes, I don’t hold to that,” wiggling his fingers, “mumbo jumbo tattoo fate-or-whatever bullshit. Chaboi Taako’s a free agent.”

Because on his wrist, there’s just a bunch of scribbles, and what the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?

 

7.

“Hey, babe. Hey, babe.” He was reaching out, grabbing whatever part of Kravitz he found first. “Hey, just hold on to me, babe. Can you just--hold on to me, ‘cause things are about to break real fuckin’ bad.”

He breathed that last against Kravitz’s neck. They were folded together, Taako’s hands locked on Kravitz’s hips. Kravitz cradled the back of Taako’s head, stroking his hair, feeling for his heartbeat through his back.

“You’re not gonna leave?” Taako whispered. His head was nestled against Kravitz’s shoulder, eyes turned down. Easier for him to talk like that.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Kravitz said. As if were his choice. As if it were a choice at all.

“Okay. Okay, okay. We’ll just--”

“--hold on?”

Taako’s shoulders shook. Kravitz pulled him closer, as if they could be closer, and they sunk to the floor, Taako gripping the front of his shirt, Kravitz’s arms tight around him. The sky outside was dark, pitch. When it started to shudder, and Hunger-stuff began to pour through the cracks, they closed their eyes.

Kravitz found himself humming, and when he felt Taako’s perked ear tickle his chin, he found himself singing. Taako leaned in to Kravitz’s chest so that he felt his voice more than he heard it.

Light, glowing softly beyond Kravitz’s closed eyes. A soft gasp from Taako. Shaking, familiar fingers dug into his arms. He pressed Taako to his chest, felt every line of his body, and then--

Kravitz was alone.

 

It’s only been a minute, tops, but if Taako has to listen to this golem’s shitty accent for one more second he’s going to McFucking lose it. As soon as Merle’s spell sparks across his nullsuit, undoing Lucas’s paralysis, Taako scoops up the umbra staff and brandishes it at the golem.

“Hey thug, what’s your name? I’m about to tentacle your dick!”

The golem turns and freezes. Taako opens the umbra staff with a flick of his wrist.

“I’m gonna get you into some tent porn, lemme get that name real quick so I now how to credit you in the _tentacle porn_ I’m about to make with your _body.”_

Dark slime starts to wriggle from the umbra staff. Even as it pools at the golem’s feet, it makes no move to escape. Taako waves the umbra staff in what he hopes is a menacing fashion.

“Hey, you heard me, I didn’t stutter! You froze me, bocephus! I hated it!”

“Taako?”

He lowers the umbra staff. “Nuh-uh-uh, I’ve played this game before. That’s my name.”

“I know, of course I know that.” And the accent is gone now. “Taako, it’s me. It’s Kravitz.”

The golem collapses into itself, a hundred crystal shards dropping to the ground in a chorus of chimes. The air above tears, and a man in a cowled robe steps out. He smiles at Taako with his whole face, with shining eyes and hands that shake. But he doesn’t even get a step toward Taako before he flops to the ground in a tangle of black tentacles.

Taako pokes his cheek with the umbra staff. “That’s great, pretty boy. Nice name and all, but you’re about to take a fuck-ton of bludgeoning damage, so strap in for that.”

Kravitz raises his hand, and a scythe appears in it. Taako whistles to Magnus and points a thumb, all _well check this cool cat out._ In one swipe, Kravitz is free, but with a lazy gesture Taako brings tentacles writhing up to his waist.

“Taako, it’s _me._ Do you—do you remember?”

He doesn’t like the way Kravitz looks at him. He gazes dramatically into the middle distance so that he doesn’t have to meet those wide, earnest eyes.

He hums, searching his memory. “I dunno, pretty boy. Depends how drunk I was. You from Neverwinter? You sounded like you were from Neverwinter a second ago. Magnus, did I get drunk and take a cannonball to Neverwinter again?”

Magnus, propped in Noelle’s arms, grunts as he tries to balance. “Little busy here! I don’t think so? I think the Director told Avi not to let you off the base while drunk.”

“Hm.” Taako props both hands on the umbra staff with a shrug. “Sorry, jabronie. I don’t have a single clue who you are. Except for the dude who behanded my dearest cleric. Whatever will we do without his healing touch?”

“Nah, nah, nah, we’re not blaming this guy! That was all Magnus!” Merle complains loudly as he struggles to his feet.

Magnus makes Noelle swing him around just so that he can point accusingly at Merle. “We’re very much blaming this guy! I stopped him from _murdering your ass_ , Highchurch!”

Taako rolls his eyes at Kravitz, then regrets looking at him. Because those eyes, in that face, and that open and hurting expression turned toward him? It makes his knees soft.

“I didn’t believe I’d ever see you again. I didn’t think…” He rubs his wrist. “Gods, Istus must be laughing at us! I can’t believe this is my bounty—I can’t believe you—that’s why you have so many unchecked deaths, _gods_ , Taako, what happened to you?”

Taako eyes the scythe. “Yeeeah, right, so we’re crawling back into _incredibly unsettling_ territory so do you mind if I just—“

He twitches the umbra staff. Kravitz stumbles to the floor as the tentacles deal their prescribed fuck-ton of damage, just in time for Noelle to drop Magnus’s axe on top of him. Railsplitter gashes his arm, which vanishes in black smoke. In its place is bone; when Kravitz looks up,  it’s with a skeleton’s face.

“Forget me, pretty boy, what happened to _you?”_

Kravitz says something that Taako can’t hear. Static drowns his voice. Taako tries to exchange a meaningful look with Magnus, but Railsplitter is already swinging again. Kravitz catches it and stares at Magnus.

“You don’t remember me, do you?”

Magnus shares a look with Taako. “We’ve…never met?”

Kravitz throws Railsplitter aside. Noelle bobs in the air, wheeling in a wide circle to keep Magnus on his feet. Kravitz wrings his bony hands, and the sound clatters.

“You have. You have met me.” It’s to Taako he’s speaking. “I guess I can’t ask you to remember—you’ve been through so much. It was—”

But his voice cuts out. It’s static, just static, while he looks at Taako with a dead face and pleading hands.

Taako knows Magnus and Merle are staring between him and this skeleton who thinks he knows them, but he can’t look anywhere except Kravitz. His grip on the umbra staff is so tight that his fingers shake. But he keeps his grin lazy, his eyes half-lidded.

“Listen, pretty boy. Well. Bone daddy, now, I guess. I don’t know who you are, and I can’t understand a fucking word you’re saying.”

 

4.

When it was empty, the orchestra hall was another world. Made of red velvet and oak panels, it sung with quiet and floating dust. The golden mites gilded Kravitz’s hair as he lifted Taako by the waist onto the stage.

Taako had to grab Kravitz’s arm when he tried to vault up beside him. Once Kravitz had clambered onto the stage next to him, Taako pointed with his thumb.

“We could’ve just used the stairs, babe.”

Kravitz’s shoulders slumped. Taako wrapped his arms around his shoulders, laughing, and planted a kiss on his cheek.

“Come on, you big ol’ goof. What’d you wanna show me?”

Kravitz jumped up and pulled Taako to his feet.

“You know those cinnamon rolls you made me a few weeks ago, just because I mentioned that I liked them _months_ ago?”

“Oh, for sure. Lulu made the frosting for those.”

Kravitz raised his eyebrows knowingly. Taako shrugged.

“It was no big deal.”

“It was to me,” Kravitz replied. He started to pull Taako toward the piano. “I wanted to make something for you in return. The cake...went wrong...so here we are.”

Kravitz sat behind the piano. His feet tapped nervously on the pedals as he darted a look at Taako.

“Holy shit,” Taako breathed. _“Babe.”_

And Kravitz’s smile turned into starlight, fit to light the entire dim hall. He scooted to give Taako space to sit, and then he started to play.

The song was slow and emphatic. The notes stumbled down into one another and then picked up, almost bouncing. It sounded now like hot chocolate dates, steady and rich; now like conversations under the stars, light and twinkling.

He couldn’t take his eyes off Kravitz’s hands, hands he had held a hundred times, hands he loved, moving across each key. When he performed a clever flourish that made the notes sing, Taako couldn’t resist clapping once.

And then Kravitz started to sing.

Taako made a small sound, and Kravitz almost fell into laughter. It slipped into his voice instead, rich and warm and earnest. That was a voice Taako could listen to forever, and the way it held his name in this song made him clutch the edge of the bench.

The song quieted until Kravitz was almost whispering. Taako leaned in so close that his hair brushed Kravitz’s cheek. The music faded so slowly that he didn’t realize it was over until he felt Kravitz kiss his ear.

“Hello, there,” Kravitz murmured.

They were so close that Kravitz only had to turn his head to do so. Taako dropped his head onto his shoulder.

“Not bad?”

Taako wove their hands together. “You could even say it was pretty damn good.”

“Oh, could you?”

Taako kissed his neck. He was going to say something flippant, but remembering the depth in Kravitz’s singing voice made his own shaky. “Yeah. You definitely could.”

 

The fight is going about as well as can be expected, when one factors in the general amount of chaos the boys have had to deal with in the last hour or so and the spooky ghost monster they’re dealing with now. That is to say, Legion has left a Magnus-shaped dent in the wall, Merle has summoned a glowing woman who is standing in the center of the room doing nothing, and Taako is still smoking from ten different robot blasts.

Even though he’s at the back of the fight readying a spell, Taako ducks at just the wrong moment. Legion backhands him across the room, where his back cracks on the wall beside the astral mirror. He sprawls on the floor and stays down, breathing hard. His hands go for the umbra staff, lying feet away, but a swooping robot rolls it out of reach.

“Taako!”

The shout comes from inside the mirror. Taako uses the wall to pull himself up and look in.

“Hey, bone daddy, you still trying to reap us, or…? Y’know what, you look a little busy, so don’t even worry about it. I’m thinkin’ we’re not gonna need your help getting reaped right about now.”

Kravitz is dealing with his own pile of ghosts. They fall, swipe after swipe, to his scythe, but more keep pouring from the castle gates behind him. Taako figures that as long as Kravitz is dealing with them, they won’t have to worry about the Raven Queen’s grudge against them.

But even though the ghosts have their Kravitz problem on lock, Taako can’t look away from the mirror. He’s actually holding his breath, watching each swing land, waiting for the moment Kravitz falters—hoping he won’t.

“Taako!” Kravitz shouts again. Across planes, their eyes lock. Kravitz is waving wildly. “Get down! Taako, get down!”

Taako ducks, but he’s too late. Several robots fire at once, hitting him in the back with so much force that he spins before collapsing. His vision goes black for a second, and when it clears, his body feels like fire and all he can see are screaming ghosts. The umbra staff is only a few feet away, and it’s shuffling toward him, but Legion is nearly on top of him.

It’s too far. So is Magnus, barreling straight for Taako like a tank. So is Merle, flipping frantically through his Extreme Teen Bible. Taako’s about to join a big ol’ pile of ghosts.

Legion raises an arm larger than Taako’s entire body. But as it comes crashing down, a scythe slices it clean off.

Taako looks up. Kravitz is standing over him, hood thrown back, scythe in hand.

“Don’t fucking touch him,” he says, his voice dangerously calm.

It’s just enough time. Magnus crashes into Legion from behind while Merle’s spell lights it from within. Carey, a step behind Magnus, vaults off his shoulders onto Legion’s back. Kravitz drops his scythe and scoops Taako into his arms.

“Sorry, is this okay? I don’t know if you can walk.”

Taako pats Kravitz’s chest. “Better than okay, my dude. Get me out of here!”

He weaves through robot fire as he carries Taako toward the umbra staff. It all but flies into his hands when Kravitz sets him down.

“Um…Merle? Merle Highchurch, yes? I believe Taako needs healing.”

Merle eyes Kravitz warily. The reaper is still kneeling beside Taako, though he’s very careful not to touch him again. Still, Merle fumbles through the book, says a few words, and pats Taako’s head. A few sparks of gold light shoot from his wooden fingers.

“Ouch! Is that the best you can do, old man? I’d be better off with some Tylenol and a cup of lukewarm Sprite.”

Kravitz laughs. It makes Taako want to laugh.

“Okay, friends! Compadres! My battle companions, break time is over!” Magnus shouts at them as he stumbles back, clutching his side. “Unless you’ve got another heal slot, Merle, would really love that right about now.”

Taako glances at Kravitz. “Are we working together now, or…?”

With a flourish, Kravitz summons his scythe. Grinning, he nods.

“All right, all right!”

Taako grabs his free hand, pulls them both to their feet, and points the umbra staff at the robot encased in a stalactite above.

“You’re gonna wanna duck!”

 

3.

It was a bad night before Kravitz showed up. Taako had tried meditating, had tried pacing around and around the Starblaster, had tried sitting with Barry, Magnus, and Davenport until a coffee mug exploded in Davenport’s hands because he’d been clutching it too tightly. Eventually Taako had slipped away from the ship and into the orchestra hall. He knew a spell that gave him easy access to the locked roof.

He walked around the roof a few times, getting night air into his lungs. At the very least, Lup had been right about him being cooped up in the Starblaster for too long. The stars were good for him. They weren’t the same as the ones he’d made pictures in as a kid, but he’d been under enough different skies that he didn’t try to draw in them anymore. Their light was still grounding, though. They made him feel smaller.

“Oh. I’m sorry, the door was unlocked—”

Looking over his shoulder, Taako could just make out Kravitz in the dark.

“That’s ‘cause I unlocked it.” Taako twirled his wand. The sparks lit his face briefly.

Kravitz started when he saw who it was. “Oh. Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you were—I can go. I’m sorry.”

“You can stay.”

Before Kravitz looked back, Taako had turned and propped his elbows on the roof’s edge. He pretended to focus on the stars, but when Kravitz didn’t move, he rushed to add, “I mean, only if you wanna.”

Kravitz leaned against the wall beside him. Close enough that Taako stopped breathing for a second, but far enough to be safe. Glancing at him, Taako saw his eyes full of stars.

“I, um. I like to come up here when I get too stressed. It’s very calm.” Kravitz attempted conversation with hesitation.

Taako bobbed his head. “Same here. It was getting too loud back home.”

Kravitz laughed. “I’ve seen your friends at a distance. I can only imagine the chaos up close.”

“Yeah, well, add life-or-death deadlines, two metric tons of coffee, and Barry’s inability to cope with stress to the mix, and you’ve got a real fun night on your hands.”

“Are you all submitting something to the mountain?”

“That sounds very cult-like, my dude. But yeah, we are.”

Kravitz tugged on his ear. They were both looking out, over the quad, away from each other. Taako could only see him by dim outline, but he liked that. It was a nice outline.

“Only one other person in my class is submitting something this year, but the pressure is so bad. I can’t imagine seven people working on seven different projects at once. You haven’t had very much time, either, have you?”

“You think we need it? You insult me!”

Kravitz laughed. It made Taako want to laugh. “Well, some of us do spend our whole lives preparing for this. I was practicing down in the hall before I came up, but it’s hard to conduct an orchestra that doesn’t exist.”

The conversation faltered for a second. Taako had to curl his hands into fists before he managed to say, “Yeah, I mean, how’s that conducting thing gonna work with the magic glowing cult mountain?”

Kravitz laughed again. Taako thought he might be doing it on purpose, laughing all the way back in his throat like that, to make Taako’s knees go soft.

“I’m more interested in how you intend to present your wisdom to the mountain. Will you be crediting anyone else? You know, I overheard you…’discussing’ aphorisms with your sister. All your own creations, I’m sure.” His tone was teasing.

Taako could play that game. He poked Kravitz’s arm and said, “Ohhh, so you were eavesdropping?”

The silence was more serious than Taako had intended. He moved his eyes from Kravitz’s profile back to the shape of the mountain, focused on the feel of cool wind in his hair instead of the way it moved Kravitz’s.

After only a second, Kravitz said, “I didn’t mean to. I wanted to talk to you, but…I was afraid to try.”

“Hmph.” Taako slumped into the wall. “Can’t imagine why.”

He had spent the last two weeks hiding on the Starblaster, and the two weeks before that ducking into whatever hiding place he could whenever he saw Kravitz.

Kravitz folded his arms as if he were cold, even though the night was warm enough. He turned halfway toward Taako but kept his eyes on the ground. “I’m sorry that I kept following you when it was clear you don’t want to be around me. It was kind of you to let me stay up here tonight, but if you don’t want me to talk to you, you can just say so.”

“It’s not…that. Exactly.” Taako tried desperately to think of what Lup would do, what she would tell him to say. When he realized what that was, he said it before he could stop himself. “Do you wanna get coffee tomorrow? There’s supposed to be a good place near the art building. Not that I trust artist types, they’re fucking avant-garde disasters, all of them.”

Kravitz blinked a few times. Taako was staring at the stars in his eyes to keep his heart from pounding.

“I’m not entirely sure that I caught what you just said.”

“You’re gonna make me say it a-fucking-gain, aren’t you? Fine. Do you want to go out tomorrow? You’re lucky you’re pretty.”

The distance between them was still safe. Kravitz dared to move a hand across it, and Taako slid his hand near his. Kravitz laced their fingers together.

“I would like that very much.”

 

Taako is really looking forward to a nap after too many hours in Refuge, but what he finds once he returns to their apartments isn’t entirely disappointing. He hangs up his cloak of the manta ray, yawns, and turns to see Kravitz sitting on the couch.

“Taako,” he breathes, already on his feet. “Are you okay?”

Taako folds his arms. “Well I’m doing a li’l better now, except I’m gonna have to get our locks checked, apparently.”

Kravitz pulls at the collar of his suit, but Taako’s grin makes him smile sheepishly.

“I was worried. You’ve added quite a bit to your death count.”

“That’s cute. You’re here ‘cause the boss sent you, right?”

“Well…yes. I tried to see you before now, but there was never time. We need to talk.”

Taako notices him rubbing his wrist again. He raises an eyebrow and says, “You got that one right, for sure.”

They stare at each other. Taako is waiting for him to start talking. Kravitz shifts back onto his heels and eventually says, “So…what happened to you and the others? Are you sure you’re all right?”

“Nah, nah, nah. I was thinking maybe you start by explaining the interesting little fact that you seemed to remember me back on that crystal adventure, even though I’d never met you before in my entire fucking life.”

“I—” Kravitz purses his lips. “I have a lot of questions, but I don’t know if you can answer them.”

 _“You_ have questions? You _have—_? You know what, you may be real fuckin’ cute—and that was a good save back in the crystal kingdom, thanks for saving my life and all—but I’m thinking it doesn’t matter if I died an entire metric fuck-ton in Refuge. I’m the one who gets to ask questions right about now.”

Kravitz blinks, then nods. “That is...that is fair.”

“You’re damn right it is.” Taako walks past him and starts looking through cabinets for Magnus’s tin of hot chocolate. When Kravitz doesn’t respond, he points a mug at him. “Start talking, pretty boy. Why do you think you know me?”

“We were…friends.”

“Friends, huh?” Taako drops a carton of milk on the counter and wiggles his eyebrows at Kravitz. “I dunno if you make a lot of friends in your line of work, Reaper Man, but they don’t look at each other like that.”

Kravitz ducks his head. It hides the way his eyes hang on Taako’s every movement, but not his awkward grin. “This is weird.”

“Why is it weird?”

“I don’t know how to talk to you.”

Taako drinks from the carton before pouring milk into a pot. “You prefer milk, right? I swear to Istus, if you say water, I’m gonna make you walk right off this moon base.”

“Um...excuse me?”

“For hot chocolate.”

“Oh, right. Of course. Of course that’s what’s happening. Yes, I prefer milk.”

“Good, then we can still make this work. So,” Taako snaps his finger to light the stovetop, “if we were such good ‘friends’, why can’t I remember you?”

“I don’t know. I don’t…”

He walks towards the counter, eyes fast on Taako’s. Taako’s grip on the pot handle tightens, but he keeps his gaze lazy.

“Do you remember _anything?”_

“You’re gonna have to be more specific, dog.”

Taako looks down to stir cocoa powder into the milk, but also to avoid Kravitz’s eyes. That man’s face is entirely too expressive. But when Kravitz starts talking, his stirring slows and stops. He can’t hear a word; it’s all static.

“Sorry,” Taako says, still looking down. “Can you take another run at that?”

Kravitz pauses, then starts again. Taako just hears static.

“Yeah, this time I’m gonna need you to use words, I’m afraid.”

“You can’t hear me.”

Taako takes the pot off the burner. “Not a fuckin’ word. But, you know what? I’ve had a real long day—and that’s not just a saying, it’s literally been longer than normal. So tell you what.”

He shoves a mug of cocoa at Kravitz.

“Tonight I’ll give you the low-down on my sweet heroics in Refuge so you don’t get busted by the boss. Next time you have a free night, how about you pop back up here and we can talk about whatever weird connection we’ve got going on during a hot moon date. How about it?”

“Are you asking me out? While...while I’m doing my job? Which is essentially to kill you?”

Taako nods simply while he pours himself a mug of cocoa.

“You haven’t changed,” Kravitz laughs. “Yes, I’d like that.”

 

5.

Taako clutched the edges of his seat. He was trying to remember the way Kravitz leaned into each stroke of his conductor’s baton. He was trying to remember the decisive flick of his wrist, and the way his hair flew around his face when the music picked up. He was trying to remember the way his eyes glowed like stars during his presentation, but there was a static block in his mind.

“C’mon,” he muttered, watching Kravitz shift nervously on the stage. “C’mon, you glorified rock pile, if you’ve got an ounce of taste…”

A light flashed, and the music came back to life in Taako’s mind. It rippled across the crowd, which began to murmur and then to cheer.

Kravitz had frozen. It looked like he was about to snap the baton in half. Taako stood, whistling and cheering, arms pumping in the air. When Kravitz saw him stamping his feet, his expression cracked. He started laughing, loud, relieved laughter that shook out all the nerves.

Then Taako was running. He held his hair in place with one hand, his dress out of the way with the other. Kravitz wasn’t ready for the exact amount of exuberance Taako threw into his hug; they stumbled backwards off the stage.

“Hell yeah, babe! Hell _yeah,_ you’re the best conductor in this planar fucking system and everyone knows it!”

He peppered Kravitz’s face with kisses. Kravitz held on to him, laughing and sometimes returning kisses, as they lay sprawled on the ground. He didn’t even mention that his jacket was going to get grass stains, and Taako didn’t complain about his unravelling hairdo.

“I can’t believe I just did that,” Kravitz managed. “I can’t believe--there’s no way I could have done that without you.”

“Are you kidding? You’ve been working on this your entire life! You’re a fuckin’ genius, babe.”

Taako kissed him square on the lips. Kravitz took the opportunity to hold Taako’s face between his hands.

“I would have lost my mind if I didn’t have you. I’m not kidding. You kept me so grounded through this. It’s like--you were meant to be here for this.”

“Does that mean I gotta go, now it’s over?” Taako said it lightly, but his arms had locked around Kravitz’s waist.

Kravitz’s fingers nestled into his hair. “Not even a little bit. Taako, it means so much to me that you were here for this. But it means even more to me that you’re _here._ I love you, Taako.”

Taako hid his face against Kravitz’s chest. “I love you, too.”

Kravitz stroked his hair. His hands felt like music.

After a few minutes, Taako laid his cheek against Kravitz’s shoulder. “Hey, Krav?”

“Mm?”

“Can I ask what your tattoo says?”

Kravitz had never tried to hide it. It just hadn’t come up--that is to say, Taako had never dared to ask. He knew, when Kravitz squeezed his shoulder, that he understood what the question meant.

“It says, ‘Do I look like I’m okay, pretty boy?’”

Taako let out a breath that was a little too shaky. “I thought so.”

 

They’d been walking back from the Chug ‘n’ Squeeze, but now they’re sitting in the quad under the night sky. Taako’s not quite sure how they got here, but he doesn’t entirely mind. He’s lying in cool grass, ankles tangled with Kravitz’s, who’s sitting up and telling a story about one of his bounties.

Taako isn’t really listening. He’s looking at the stars in Kravitz’s eyes, and when the story’s over, he says “So, you know me but I don’t know you.”

Kravitz blinks, but other than that, he takes the swerve in stride. “Yes. That does seem to be the case.”

“Sounds like I was real important to you, too.” Taako nudges his foot. “Huh, pretty boy?”

Kravitz laughs quietly. “Yes. We were...friends.”

“Mm, you’ve tried that one before.”

Taako stops, though, because now it’s a little harder to joke about the way Kravitz looks at him. In the lab, it was unnerving. After Refuge, it was cute. Now, he doesn’t want to say something that might make Kravitz stop looking at him.

Kravitz leans back with a sigh. “It was before I died. A long time ago.”

“Oh, yeah? Was I incredibly charming and dashing?” Taako bats his eyelashes. “How long ago, huh? Was I still a handsome young rapscallion? Oh, you had a crush on _scoundrel!”_

“As if you’re not a handsome rapscallion now?”

Taako rolls his cheek into the grass to hide his red face. “Oh, you’re cute.”

“Do you have a crush on _Death?”_

Taako prods his thigh. “Well, Death makes a mean vase, so the relationship is definitely looking up.” His head rolls back onto the grass, and after a moment he asks, “What did you mean, ‘Istus must be laughing’? You said it back at the lab. I didn’t forget.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Kravitz rub his wrist. He looks away from Taako, the lines in his body suddenly tighter.

“It was just a saying.”

“S’not one I ever heard before. C’mon, you know I’m like, basically Istus’s favorite dude after what happened in Refuge. What, do you know some secret about her? Would’ve really liked to know about it before I sold my soul.”

“No, I...I meant it figuratively. She’s the goddess of fate.”

“Yeah, I _know_ that. You know I know that.” Taako hooks his hands behind his head. “C’ _mon._ It’s late, we’re drunk, I’m probably not gonna remember in the morning. What did you mean?”

“She must have a hand in me finding you again.” Kravitz shrugs. “For years, I thought our tattoos were some kind of cosmic joke.”

“You know something about my tattoo?”

Taako has pushed himself onto his elbows. There’s a note of panic in not just his voice, but his entire body. He knows Kravitz can sense it by the way he leans in without touching him, and Taako doesn’t mind him noticing.

Kravitz hesitates, but….“Yes.”

“What does it say?”

Kravitz doesn’t seem to need to look at Taako’s wrist. “It says—”

Static.

Seeing the look on Taako’s face, Kravitz says, “You don’t remember.”

“No, I can’t _hear_ you. And it’s starting to freak me out.” Taako sits up. “Your boss doesn’t have a Voidfish, does she?”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“Unfortunately, my dude, that’s only barely reassuring. There’s something weird going on between you and me.”

“Is there?”

“Don’t go sounding like a kicked puppy. I mean all the static and whatever you said about it being weird talking to me. Besides all that, I mean, you’re not half bad. What does _your_ tattoo say, anyway?”

Taako grabs his hand and, because Kravitz doesn’t pull away, turns it over to read his wrist.

Except, he can’t. It’s just scribbles.

Taako drops his arm and scoots back an entire foot. Kravitz pulls his arm to his chest. His expression is halfway between wounded and hopeful.

Neither of them really dares to speak. It means something—Taako’s tattoo means something. Kravitz’s matches his, and that means something, too. It’s just that Taako has spent his whole life trying to convince himself that the scribbles don’t matter and soulmates aren’t real.

That he doesn’t need one, because—best he could tell—the scribbles mean he doesn’t have one.

“What does it say?” Taako’s voice is accusing now.

“I don’t think you could hear me if I told you.”

Taako jumps to his feet, his back to Kravitz, away from that face that seems to expect something from him. His knees may go soft at the sight of that face, but it’s too much to ask. He’s not interested in the Grim Reaper’s misremembered past.

“Well, thanks for the evening, bone dog, and deciding not to drag us all to hell or whatever it is you do. Mucho appreciated, and with any luck we won’t have to see each other again for a few hundred years.” Taako scoops up the umbra staff and nods curtly to Kravitz, still cross-legged in the grass. “Tell Istus I said she can fuck right off.”

But Taako doesn’t make it half a step before the umbra staff jerks him back. It starts to glow, charging a spell pointed at Kravitz’s feet. Before Taako can redirect it, a jet of fire burns shapes into the grass.

After a second, Taako’s arm drops to his side as if nothing happened. He stares at the umbra staff, rattles it a bit, and shrugs.

When he looks back, he realizes why Kravitz hasn’t moved. An arrow is burned into the grass, pointing at him. It leads from the heart burned in at Taako’s feet.

 

2.

Taako’s bedroom door blasted open. Lup stood where it had been, eyes alight, braced as if to cast a spell.

“Koko,” she said. “We need to talk.”

Taako flicked to the next page of his magazine. He hadn’t so much as blinked at the booming sound of her entrance; at least this one didn’t involve fire.

She yanked out the chair at his desk, spun it around, and flung herself into it. After thirty seconds of intense staring, Taako finally looked at her through his eyelashes.

“Why don’t you go right ahead and make yourself comfy, then?”

“Why don’t you sit up and talk to your sister? C’mon, I’ve been letting you get away with this for half a month now, but clearly you’re not gonna fess up yourself. Talk. Now.”

Taako stretched, dropped his magazine on the floor, and slouched into a sitting position against his headboard. Lup was all tangled hair and bright eyes to his sloped shoulders and half-lidded gaze.

“Okay, Lulu. You’ve bought yourself some Taako time. What’s up?”

“What’s up is you’ve been hiding on the Starblaster for two weeks and haven’t held a class in four. I was gonna let you talk when you were ready, but clearly that’s not gonna happen. So question number one, is it something I can blow up?”

Taako choked on something that was halfway between laughter and horror. “Please, please do not do that.”

“Okay. It’s about that guy, then.”

Taako shrugged. He hadn’t exactly talked about Kravitz, but Lup paid attention to her brother, so it didn’t surprise him. It didn’t mean he wanted to start putting words to his feelings, though.

“That class you cancelled. It was because he was there, wasn’t it? He was the pretty one with the dark hair, at the back?”

“Yeah.” He didn’t specify which question he was answering.

Lup nodded. “Okay, so—that explains a lot.”

He knew she got it, just like that, without words—part of it, at least. This was something they’d both lived with since they were kids. They had been drifters without a home, never staying in one place for very long. The moment you got attached was the moment you had to leave. So they’d learned how not to get attached, how to put up walls every time they showed up somewhere new. How to not get hurt.

But every now and then, there was someone with a nice enough smile that they got past the walls.

Lup propped her feet on Taako’s bed. They tangled their ankles together while Lup hung her head back and Taako stared at the wall.

“Okay,” she said, to bring them back. “So, that sucks. Fuck, I didn’t even think about leaving at the end of the cycle. But, you know we’re gonna solve it, right? We’re gonna find a way to stay. This could be the one.”

“I’m not gonna play that game. It’s taking us the whole year just to get near the light. There’s not a chance in the whole wide planar system that we’re gonna crack that fuckin’ chestnut before the Hunger eats up this shiny little plane like a—like—”

Taako ran out of words. He stared hard at his hands, shoulders tensed to his ears. Lup rolled onto the bed and knotted their fingers together.

“Hey, hey, hey. We’ve got time. We’re not gonna let the Hunger get this one, yeah? Koko, look at me.”

He looked at her with an irritated tilt to his head. She pressed the worry lines from the corners of his eyes.

“That’s not the end of it,” he said at last. “I got a whole other layer of awful to add to this sob story. You know the first thing he said to me?”

Lup shook her head.

“Actually, you do.”

He showed her his wrist. They’d known each other’s tattoos since they were little kids, would sometimes come up with fancy stories about soulmates who would sweep them off their feet to even fancier castles. Lup didn’t have to read her brother’s wrist to know what Kravitz had said.

“Okay,” Lup breathed, even though it wasn’t. “He’s your—okay, that’s…that’s really fucking unfair.”

Taako laughed. “You don’t fuckin’ say!”

Lup laughed, too. It was better than the alternative. Taako started to roll his sleeve over his wrist, but Lup grabbed him suddenly by the shoulders.

“Hey, look! That’s been our whole life, hasn’t it? We’re getting traded from one unfair situation to the next.”

“Gee, Lulu, thanks. Makes me feel so much better to reflect on the shitty train wreck that is our life.”

“Okay, _fair,_ but the thing is _we keep making it work!_ The universe--planar system-- _whatever,_ it’s never given us a single thing that we _actually deserve,_ but we keep taking it anyway! Y’know? We’ve gotten the light before, we’re gonna get it again.”

“And I’m very excited that my soulmate’s not gonna get eaten by Hungry John or whoever the shit, but it comes to the same thing. Lulu, we’re _leaving,_ again, we always do.”

“You know what? You know _what?”_

She had on her arsonist’s expression: a rebel tilt to her mouth and a sly slant to her eyebrows. Taako raised an eyebrow in reply.

“Love him anyway!”

He started to shrug out of her grip. Clearly, his sister had lost her mind. But she lunged forward and held him fast in front of her.

“I am so sick of turning through cycle after cycle, watching you get lonely like when we were kids. You don’t have to do that anymore! You’ve got us, you’ve always got your family. Taako, if this guy is your soulmate—I have to believe that it’s gonna work out. I have to believe that! Our destiny or whatever may be screwed to hell by all these fucking loops, but soulmates are all about pushing through that, right?”

“That’s a lot of fuckin’ bullshit to ask us to push through.”

Lup grinned. “But I’m getting to you, aren’t I? Here’s another thing—I’m sick of watching you hide out on the ship. You were blowing kids’ minds out in Legato. That guy was dogging your steps before you holed up in here, Koko, he’s _besotted._ You could be really happy here.”

Taako looked at the ceiling. “For how long?”

“Long enough.” Her grip on his shoulders eased. “Or maybe not. But y’know, these tattoos mean something. Not fate, really. Fate is bullshit. It’s something _you_ gotta make, and you two could make something great.”

She flopped back onto the bed and wrapped an arm around Taako’s shoulders. He leaned into her, hiding his small smile in her shoulder.

“I just want you to be happy, Taako. I think this guy could make you happy, even for a little bit.”

They didn’t mention what would happen at the end of the year. Exactly how happy Taako would be when the Hunger came. He tried not to think about it. He wanted so badly for Lup to be right.

 

He lets go of Magnus.

It’s a terrible decision. This is the last cycle, and if he dies--but that thought makes no sense, and Taako loses track of it. He lets go of Magnus and falls into the astral plane.

The soul-ocean swallows him whole. It fills his mouth before he can call Kravitz’s name. He has to find him before--before--

_Before you both drown, dingus._

But it’s not an ocean anymore. As Taako struggles to the surface, he realizes he’s surrounded by something black that shimmers with color. Somewhere far away, he hears Kravitz calling his name.

 _I’m here!_ But the black stuff eats his voice. _Hold on, babe, just--hold on to me._

Kravitz is _there._ Taako can see him. He’s right _there,_ arms outstretched, but just as Taako grabs his hand, he wakes with a start.

Taako is sweaty and tangled in blankets. He kicks them off, stands up, and starts to pace around their campsite. There’s Merle. There’s Magnus--or, at least, enough of Magnus to count. Taako puts a hand to his chest. Here he is. They’re out of Wonderland. They’re alive. Why can’t his heart beat at a normal pace?

And there’s Kravitz, in his mind, sinking beneath the soul-ocean.

He rubs his wrist and keeps pacing.

 

6.

“Love, I’m going to need you to talk to me.”

Taako didn’t realize he’d fallen asleep on Kravitz’s floor until he woke up there. Kravitz was shaking him gently. Once he blinked awake, Kravitz pulled him up and into his lap.

“How long have you been there? Taako, this isn’t good for you.”

Taako shrugged. His back ached.

“What’s wrong, love? You don’t usually sleep at all. This is the second time I’ve found you like this.”

“Busy work. Professor life. You know, hard work being a genius renegade.” Taako reached back, snagged one of Kravitz’s hands, and smooched it.

“You haven’t had a class since your presentation. Do I need to ask Lup to bully you into communicating?”

“Gods, don’t,” Taako groaned. “Last time she did something like that, it took my eyebrows a week to grow back.

“That should be good incentive to talk to me, then.”

He felt lips on the base of his neck, and shivered.

“That’s cheating, babe.”

Kravitz laughed against his spine. When he spoke, though, playfulness dropped from his voice. “I know something’s wrong. And I know you need space, but I don’t want to see you beat yourself up like this.”

Taako wanted to protest, but remembered that he didn’t have to. He didn’t have to hide from Kravitz.

“There’s something I gotta find, and we’re running out of time.”

It was easier to say while sitting in Kravitz’s lap, without looking directly at him. He wound his arms backwards around Kravitz’s waist.

“Y’know we’re not from Legato, right?”

“And you know Legato is the name of the conservatory, not the plane. Yes, you’ve told me where you’re from.”

“Right. So. There’s this one piece that I kind of left out, ‘cause I didn’t think it was gonna be a major deal. Like, out of everything, I thought we had this one on lock at least--”

“Taako.”

The soft word pushed him back on track.

“You know the Light of Creation?”

Kravitz’s quiet laugh was slightly incredulous. “Yes.”

“Well, yeah, I guess of course you do, since your whole plane has kind of zeroed in on that. Had just a bit of a miscommunication, though, little bit of a misnomer. Your Light’s not the same as our Light.”

Kravitz’s grip on Taako’s waist tightened for a moment. “So that’s why you all did presentations. You were trying to get close to the Light.”

“Not that it worked. Mango’s been in and out of that mountain without a clue. I’ve been trying to find it. I’ve been trying so _fucking_ hard. Lup promised we’d find it this cycle.”

“What does it mean, not to find it?”

“It means things are about to break real fuckin’ bad.”

A long pause followed. Taako unlaced his arms from Kravitz’s waist and started to fold them into his body, but Kravitz caught his hands gently.

In a voice that shook as much as his hands, he said, “Taako, I don’t know what that means.”

So Taako explained. He explained their silver ship and its magic engine, the Light that had forged it. He explained the Hunger, and how he had seen it attack forty-six planar systems. How it always came, and how they always left. How they had chased the Light across half a century, knowing every time they showed up in a new plane that the moment they got attached would be the moment they had to leave.

“The Hunger always comes. On the good days, when we get to the Light, it doesn’t take that system. But then the Light’s gone again anyway, and it all starts over somewhere else.”

They had moved to Kravitz’s bed. Taako was hunched around a pillow, his eyes on Kravitz’s hands. He was worrying at the bedspread, fingers curling and uncurling, his wrist turned up. Taako’s eyes kept going to that tattoo.

“So you’re leaving. You were always leaving.”

“It was Lup’s idea.”

It was barely a whisper, into the pillow. But Kravitz heard; he always did. His fingers slid across the quilt and touched Taako’s ankle. There was a question in his eyes.

Taako fiddled with the pillow fringe. “You know what my tattoo says?”

He got more than the reaction he had expected. Just looking through his eyelashes at Kravitz, he saw him as he’d been at his presentation, in the moment between forgetting and remembering. Taako involuntarily yanked the tassel so hard that he ripped it off the pillow.

“I hope so,” Kravitz managed.

There was a desperate tilt to his shoulders. Taako tossed the pillow on the floor, crawled to him despite the way his sore body complained, and cupped his face in his hands.

“It’s you.” He kissed him. “It’s you.” He kissed him again. “It’s always you. The Hunger is a lot of bullshit to ask you to push through, but it’s you, Kravitz.”

Kravitz was holding on to Taako’s arms like a lifeline. “I love you, Taako. And nothing’s gonna change that.”

 

Voidfish ichor rattles in his system. Memories push up against his brain, each one a pounding hammer. The Director’s voice is in his ears--Lucretia’s voice--and she’s saying words that almost mean something.

_Lup. Your sister._

He clutches the umbra staff so tightly that it just might snap in half.

_How could you forget?_

Every time the hammer pounds, she comes to life in his memories. It’s going to split his skull open, but he doesn’t care, because it’s _her,_ it’s _Lup,_ it was his _sister, out there on the road with him--_

The hammer falls again. This time he remembers his dream from last night, except now it’s real. The Hunger is falling from the sky, and he’s holding on to someone he loves. A man with dark hair and a handsome face.

When Taako looks at his wrist, he can read what’s written there.

 

1.

“Excuse me, but--are you okay?”

Taako propped his hand on his hip. “Do I look like I’m okay, pretty boy?”

“You look like you’ve been crying.”

Taako scrubbed at his running eyeliner with a growl. “It’s this shitty weather. You don’t need to borrow my hat, Lup said. It’ll be fine, she said. How the hell does it start raining so fast?”

“I think the sky hates us, specifically” the pretty boy sighed.

Taako finally took a second to appreciate the man stuck underneath an awning with him. He first judgement wasn’t wrong; his dark hair framed a fine, handsome face. His shoulders curved around the thin folder he was clutching to his chest.

“Do you think we can order takeout to this awning?” Taako asked absently as he arranged his wet hair.

After a few seconds with no reply, Taako had to admit that the man was staring at him.

“What? Is there something in my teeth?”

“No, no.” The man laughed. “What did you...what did you call me, just now?”

“Uh, I dunno, dog. It’s been a minute.”

“You called me ‘pretty boy.’”

“Did I? That’s not even a creative one. I must be losing my edge.”

The man laughed, though it seemed reluctant. He held out his hand. “My name’s Kravitz.”

Taako eyed him again. He had rather nice eyes.

“I’m Taako.” He took Kravitz’s hand. “From T.V.”

“Oh, no.” Kravitz’s expression dropped into despair more quickly than Taako thought was possible. “You’re the renegade philosophy teacher.”

Taako snatched his hand away as if Kravitz had burned it. “Excuse you, I am a _revolutionary._ Knocking down fences, shaping young minds. Exactly who do you think _you_ are?”

“A conductor. And this is my final composition for class, so I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t drip on it.”

Taako had flicked water from his fingers when he’d started to braid his hair. Despite what Kravitz was saying, his tone was playful, and those eyes were bright.

Taako wanted to smile, but wrestled the urge. “Well, Kravitz the conductor, if you wanna order us some Fantasy Thai food while we wait for this nightmare to end, that would be mucho appreciated.”

“Nightmare?” The word seemed to trip out of Kravitz’s mouth. He tightened his grip on the folder and said, in a lighter tone, “Well, I’m certainly not paying for your order.”

“Hm. Pity. Y’know, I think this rain’s lightening up after all.”

Taako walked into the definitely-still-a-downpour. Kravitz made some sort of desperate squeak behind him. He felt fingers just brush the collar of his jacket.

“Taako, wait, you’re going to get soaked! Just--stay here a minute.”

Taako aimed a peace sign over his shoulder. “Later, pretty boy.”

He walked with a swagger for as long as he knew Kravitz could see him. He didn’t drop the facade until he had closed himself in a dark corner room of the philosophy building. He slid to the floor with a wet flop, rolled up his sleeve, and read over and over those very first words.

 

There’s a smaller song tucked inside the blue and green that streak across the sky. In and among the Voidfishs’ music, there are notes that stumble down into one another and then pick up, almost bouncing. It’s difficult to hear if you’re not listening for it, but Kravitz is.

Alone in the astral plane, trapped by the entity that has already killed him once, Kravitz hears their story tucked between the pages of a century-long journey.

On the other side of the planar system, Taako slams his hands onto a black glass circle with so much force that the Eternal Stockade shakes. Kravitz stands up, heart racing. And in the space of a blink, it’s not a stone wall he’s looking at. It’s Taako. It’s Taako, again, only this time when he looks at Kravitz his face lights up.

That’s it. That’s the expression he’s been hoping for. Taako _remembers._ And he’s brought his boyfriend home.

They run at the same time, smacking into one another with enough force that they both go spinning, arms around each other.

“Taako! Holy shit, it’s so good to see your face. Are you okay?”

“Do I look like I’m okay, pretty boy?”

Kravitz is about to laugh, the kind of familiar laughter that shakes out relieved tears, but Taako’s expression turns toward serious. He drops the camouflage spell he’s been maintaining since Wonderland.

“I mean, do I?” he asks tentatively.

Without hesitation, Kravitz pulls him into a long-overdue kiss. Taako leans in with enthusiasm, and they both pretend not to notice that when Kravitz strokes his cheeks, he’s wiping away tears.

“I love you, Taako.”

“I love you, too,” he says quietly.

Kravitz is still stroking his face, his hair, the line of his neck. “I am so, so happy to see you. Taako, you’re a miracle, and I love you so much.” He kissed him. “It’s you.” He kissed him again. “It’s always you, and that’s never gonna change.”

Taako starts to laugh, and it’s that relieved laughter, that shaking laughter. He grabs onto Kravitz’s wrists and says, “You better fuckin’ believe it, my man. Soulmates means you’re stuck with this gorgeous face.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

On the other side of the planar system, as Istus finishes threading this scene, she laughs quietly to herself.

**Author's Note:**

> The song I listened to as inspiration for Kravitz's in the fourth memory is Niel Gow's Lament. A piano version, obviously, but there's a very beautiful version combined with a poem that I sort of imagined Kravitz singing.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEh4tsLMkNA


End file.
